Cluttered

I am not, and never have been, a very organized person.
By organized, I mean NEAT.
It is not uncommon for you to see stacks and stacks of paperwork {albeit neat stacks} piled high all over the house, and me frantically digging through them trying to find some bill that is due today or an important letter that I “lost” in the pile.
I have a messy drawer. Several of them in fact.
My clothes are hardly ever hung in the closet…they usually end up in some kind of pile over the wingback chair and ottoman in our room or my dresser in my closet.
And let’s not even talk about my laundry room. 😦
But I promise…I know the general location where everything is. Just finding it is a problem. But it is always there.
My lack of organizational skills is the thing that will cause me to have a nervous breakdown someday. My poor mother about pulled her hair out thanks to my pick up skills. If I heard it once, I’ve heard it a million times: “If you would just learn to put things back where you found them, you wouldn’t have this problem.”
But for some reason my Mom never understood that putting things back meant time and, thanks to my GREAT ability to CRAM a million and one things into a day, time was something I was always short of.
Never mind the amount of time it takes me to find things, however. I guess you can say it more than likely all comes out in the wash anyway.
SHEESH.
I know it has been said over and over that “An idle mind is a devil’s playground”…but I’m going to switch it up a little….
“A cluttered mind is a devil’s playground”. And I can prove it.
I find myself cluttered not just in my organizational skills…but at times mentally and emotionally as well.  I’m sure you have been there. You might be the neatest and most organized person on the planet, but if your mind is cluttered…FORGET IT.
I ran into a friend the other day during a MUCH needed shopping spree at Trader Joes {seriously, even the manager asked me how I got all that food in one cart}
My friend and her family attend a church one town over. The church has a very upscale elementary school, which her little boy attends. Since my husband is a pastor, I get a lot of “pastor stories”…you know… “my pastor did this and I can’t believe it what do you think I should do?” stories.
Well, my friend, who I love to bits, started sharing with me some frustrating and very hurtful things that her pastor has done recently. Her eyes started to tear up about some of things that were taking place…frustrating things that were obviously very hurtful to her and her family. She explained that since these situations had occured, she hadn’t been to church and how she missed it. She also said that she didn’t want to stop going all together because her son loves it and she didn’t want to harm her his spiritual growth.
And then she said it….
“Amy, I want to see God through all this CLUTTER.”
Wow.
Sometimes we forget that we live in a world that is completely human. When things go sour we so quickly want to point our fingers at people…but people make mistakes. We are not perfect. Just like how I will {probably} never be neat or organized.
I AM A SINNER SAVED BY GRACE.
And we live amongst other sinners saved by grace. Unfortunately, until God returns, it will be that way forever. We live in clutter. And it’s our job to find God through it all.
I will never forget about 9 or 10 years ago…I lived at home with my parents. I had just completed my credential program, I had no bills outside of my cell phone and small car payment, and I worked full time as substitute teacher. Money, for once, was not a stress. I had plenty of extra to spend on the weekends out with friends or on a new outfit.
But one day, I recieved a notice from my bank stating that my account was overdrawn by $600.
I WAS HORRIFIED… and I cried myself a river.
I laugh about it now, cause I know I had the money to pay it. Really, it was nothing then {of course now a $600 dollar oversight would be DEVESTATING, ha}, but I remember thinking I was such a loser. Kicking myself for balancing my checkbook wrong and missing that one particular LARGE bill that sent me over the edge. I sat outside on my parents back porch overlooking the Santa Rosa creek and cried and cried.
My brother Brad, who is a finacial genius and has always seemed to understand numbers better than me,  sat down with me and listened to me cry. I remember telling him that I was a loser and how in the world could I miss this? I remember telling him that I must be horrible with money. He said to me, “You’re not horrible with money…obviously you care and are still trying. Someone who is horrible with money wouldn’t even care, notice or fix it.”{see Brad you have great words of wisdom, even though after your MBA you would probably say that was bad advice, ha! πŸ™‚ }….
I think about that advice a lot because it makes me realize…
I’M STILL HERE.
Do you hear that world? I haven’t given up! So take THAT! I might be an organizational loser, but I still continue to pick up my house every day, straighten my little piles, and search for my paperwork. When my wingback chair starts to fall over due to the massive amount of clothes hanging from it, I put things away. When my closet is bulging at the seams thanks to my pile of clothes, I hang everything.
I’m not giving up.
So to you out there who feel burdened down by the CLUTTER…I challenge you, don’t give up. Keep fighting. Find God through it all.
And when you start to feel overwhelmed and think you are a loser, remember my brother’s advice…
You’re still trying.
Romans 12:2

 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Here’s a GREAT video of jake dancing  and playing his guitar to Jesus Freak, by Toby Mac. I think he was about 20 months here. I love the mess behind him! Wow! Seriously, I’ve gotten better about that mess, ha!….but he doesn’t even notice it {probably cause he created it, haha}. He’s too worried about being a “Jesus Freak” to care. God let me be like that.
And in closing…
My mind has been sooo cluttered lately. And so has my blog and pretty much everything else in my life, for that matter. I am sick of hoodies being mixed in with my family history. So I am starting a new blog for Evy’s Tree. To be honest, this is something I really didn’t want to do, but I think it will be best for my cluttered state of mind. I need some boundries between Amy and Hoodies. The blog is not up and running yet, but if you want to go over and follow it so you get notifications when it is current, then click HERE.
AND…if you and I are friends on facebook, I am no longer sharing Evy’s Tree info on my personal page. There is now a fan page. If you want to keep up with my little hoodie biz on facebook, I encourage to become a fan, if you haven’t already, by clicking HERE.
And lastly, thanks to my extreme frustration with my cluttered home, I am doing some spring cleaning. On Friday eve sometime, I will be listing a bunch of original hoodies and tees for cheap via paypal links on this blog. I will also be listing some of my personal items that I want to sell, such as brand new JCrew boots, some used Prada shoes, a Ralph Lauren tote and some kids stuff. I thought I would give my friends a chance at getting the stuff before I listed it on ebay. If you’re interested come back on Friday or send me an email.
I love you, my blog friends. Let’s see through the clutter together! πŸ™‚
xoxo
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8 thoughts on “Cluttered

  1. Wow …really thank you for that blog Amy.I seriously share some identical habits you mentioned. It drives my husband crazy sometimes. He told me once though if thats really the only thing he finds himself not liking about me he considers himself blessed πŸ™‚ Sometimes I just feel like Im drowning and I go through a MAJOR get rid of everything spell…Its so bad I find myself racking my brain of what I can box up and get rid of.I just need some organization…the crazy thing is most people wouldnt know that I have this issue. But in my head…oh in my head…It must be the mixture of both material and emotional clutter haha. Oh how we can feel so consumed!Ok Im done sounding disturbed now hahah…I just loved your blog and I appreciate you writing it πŸ™‚

  2. THIS Is why I call you SuperWoman. You do EVERYTHING that you do and STILL have time to write amazing blogs like this one! Love it! It really spoke to me…I may have to post my thoughts about it on my own blog someday πŸ™‚

  3. ok SOSHAWNA…NOT superwoman. did you even read this post lady? sheesh. πŸ™‚ I have had this cluttered blog on my heart for days now and last night I just couldn't take it any longer. I sat down and spit it out in just a very short time. whew…it felt good to get off my chest haha.and danielle…you are right. I would never think you were unorganized. You seem so on top of it. Isn't it great to know that not everyone is like you think and that we are all HUMAN and IMPERFECT? Thank the Lord for loving us!love you guys! xoxo

  4. Love this post! I used to be very clutter free until I had kids and as I added more it got more cluttered! I plan to work on it too! I can't wait to get the hoodies. I am sure they will be awesome!!!! Jenn

  5. Amy, thank you for being so transparent. You expressed so well, what I am dealing with and not able to even really understand. Lately, I have been in an emotionally cluttered place…my mind has been overwhelmed and I'm not even sure why. Life has its twists and turns but its not more that I've experienced in the past or will in the future. It's frustrating and a hard place to be. I feel stuck. But I KNOW that if I keep trusting him, he will direct my path…even when I can't see through the "clutter".Thanks again for sharing your heart…it is nice to know that there are other "human" mommies out there too πŸ™‚ Love you girl.

  6. today this is just what i needed!!! πŸ™‚ it's my kid free afternoon and i have been dreading the what seems to be unsurmountable task of setting my chaotic apartment to rights!! i've lived in clutter and chaos since moving into the new place and have yet to unpack some boxes that are jsut eating up space. i can shove every scrap of mess into closests or even rooms and shut the doors to where the living space looks FANTASTIC…but i know inside the hidden corners the chaos continues to thrive. i think it's easy to tie our spiritual life into this as well…if there is clutter in life..there is clutter within. i want my home to be a reflection of me…and i dont want to reflect chaos! lol. i need an organizing class!! thanks for sharing this amy! it was much needed!

  7. I am glad that you are going to have a separate blog for Evystree, while I love hearing about all of the hoodie chaos and it is such a part of you, I adored seeing the little man "rocking out" today in that video and could seriously watch that over and over!I agree with everyone, thank you for all of the honesty you bring! I am organized, but only became that way when I moved! However, I find it so hard to keep my house picked up?! I don't know how those mamas do it – kids always clean, house clean and organized, they look fabulous…you get it! You are you and I LOVE you for it!

  8. Love you Amy!! You keep it real on here and like you I seem to surround myself with clutter all over the house. I clean it up & my 2 little tornados scatter it around in seconds. I had all the laundry cleaned off the dryer this week & I was so happy to see the dryer again. It lasted 2 days!! LOLLoved Jake's rock video. I want just a little of his energy. Pretty please. :)Looking forward to your sale tomorrow. You have inspired me to let go of a few things on ebay that I have been "waiting to wear to the right event", & that event comes & goes…..you know how it goes.xoxo

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